I am an extremely proud mother of two and am grateful everyday of how lucky I am.  My children, Eva (8) and Diego (5) are both adorable.  They are bright, caring and together, are the best of friends.

Genuinely, I struggle to pick faults with them.  There is just one thing though…my darlings cannot go for more than five minutes without ‘needing’ me, for something!

It is a running joke in our household, that our children will seek me out, from anywhere to ask a question or to ask for me to help them.  Sometimes, it will simply be to tell me something trivial, for instance, they ‘heard a funny song at school about a worm’!

Just recently, Diego (our son), came in from playing the back garden, through the house, he ran up the stairs and knocked on the bathroom door for my attention.  Hubby, Carl, was downstairs and available (well, apart from probably scrolling through Instagram) and Diego ran straight by him.

I often wonder why this is.  Does it have something to do with the way that I have brought them up?  Is it because Dad has a track record of ‘not listening’?  Where does it stem from?!

We recently started an ‘ask Dad first’ challenge.  Just to allow Mum a little space to get things done without distraction.  I’m sure others will relate, that working full time means that we squeeze all of our life and chores in between work and spending time with our family.  Every moment counts, so being distracted constantly, can really slow things down.

So the trial began and after a few reminders, the children did as they were asked and tried going to Dad first.  It was at this point, that I realised where the problem stemmed from…it was ME!

A few days after we started the challenge, I was busy washing dishes and heard Eva asking Dad for a water.  I found myself getting a glass and getting her drink, before Carl even had a chance to leave the sofa!

On the same day, I was having five minutes to myself, at Carl’s instruction.  He had bought me a magazine and encouraged me to sit and ‘chill’ (which is something that does not come easily to me).  Carl himself was also on the sofa, when Diego called down from upstairs, for one of us.  Before Carl even had a chance to hear what Diego was saying, I was halfway up the stairs!

I am my own worst enemy and I have helped the children to do this for years, instead of encouraging them to be a little more independent.

So, now, I have discovered the root cause of the problem, I am approaching things from a different angle.  Instead of jumping to attention every time I hear my name, I empower the children try and solve their issue on their own, if it is safe and sensible to do so.  I only go to help, when I am really needed.  In hindsight, I should have always done this, but we learn from our mistakes, right?

Of course, they still ask me for things and yes, I am still the first that they go to, but not nearly as much as before.  And, if I’m honest, I still want them to need me a little, before they don’t need me at all…